


The Four Times Logan Considered Max a Part of His Family, and the Two Times He Didn’t

by AnHeiressofaSOLDIER



Category: Dark Angel (TV)
Genre: AU, Canon, F/M, Probably moreso leaning towards Season 1 however, Season 1 and season 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-06 01:14:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14630988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnHeiressofaSOLDIER/pseuds/AnHeiressofaSOLDIER
Summary: I always loved loved loved the sibling aspect of Dark Angel: That these kids who were made in a lab and tortured there–who really weren’t related to each other at all, and were never taught love–would see each other as family. I also adored that Max eventually came to see Logan as part of that family of hers. And it got me thinking about Logan’s actual family (that he seemed to not be as close to, as Max was with hers), and if Logan ever saw Max like that… So that’s what I’m trying to explore here.





	1. Premise/The Canon Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post all of these “times” as a full story–that’s the way I wrote it, in fact–and maybe later I will… But for now, I’m at least going to post the first part of this fic by itself (and either edit it to include the rest of the chapters in one later, or just do this whole thing in chapters), because I may never get around to it otherwise.
> 
> So here’s the first one, that sort of sets the premise and could be seen as one of two from here that could fit into canon. Perhaps.
> 
> So here we go:

**Logan’s PoV**

It was one of the times that Seattle was having a brown out—so Max and Logan were curled around a single candle in his kitchen, in order to finish the meal they’d just started with _some_ light on the subject—that Max posed the question: 

“Y’know, Logan… you bought into my talk about the Manticore crew being my sibs pretty easily … And I guess I dunno why you did. Most probably wouldn’t have. They woulda thought I was crazy for imagining our bonds there like that… but you didn’t.

“So, yeah: Why, that? And I guess… do you feel that way about me, maybe? Do you see me as your family, Logan?”

Logan was completely taken aback by this.

And all plans he’d had about trying to see if he could make a BLT over the one open flame—because what he’d been able to cook before the power went out hadn’t been enough—were forgotten.

It seemed that Max was asking him all the important questions now.

And it wasn’t that Max hadn’t broken down some of her barriers around him before…

Logan still remembered with vivid detail how Max had been on the verge of telling him every secret of her heart, when he’d run a comforting hand over her forehead and had promised to stay with her during her seizures.

But in the end, she hadn’t.

…Though perhaps she had trusted her partner—with something else then, as she had believed in Logan enough to fall asleep before his very eyes.

And in a segment of his life like this—where it was becoming more and more clear to Logan that he was falling head over heels in love with Max Guevara, whether he wanted to or not—he knew that he had to answer the vulnerability that Max was showing him with the utmost care.

And so he took a deep breath, nudged her back once with his shoulder, and did the best thing that he could.

Because Logan Cale always did the right thing, correct?

“I know the kind of heart you have, Max. I could kinda tell from the get-go, to be honest with ya… so of course I believed your ‘talk’, as you put it. How couldn’t I, when I saw how your sibs tore you apart and put you back together at the same time? That’s what family is, Max.”

And that was the true candor of Logan’s heart: just what he had wanted to give Max on a night like this.

So he had…

But then all of his self-loathing slammed into him like a truck, as he cut his finger on the pocketknife he’d dug out in order to dice some lettuce.

So he pushed himself away from Max some—perhaps both figuratively and literally… because they had just been as wrapped up in each other as they had been during some of the stuff with Diamond, but now…

Now Logan left Max’s presence entirely.

“As for if _I_ see _you_ as family… It’s kind of hard to believe that the genetically engineered killing machine could be connected to someone like me. So I guess, in the end, it depends on how you feel about the situation, Max.”

Max looked deeply into Logan’s eyes then:

And first he saw awe and thankfulness, for what he’d said about her heart in relation to her… well, relations.

But then there seemed to be despair within Max, as she parted her lips once—either to moan in pain, or to perhaps kiss him. Logan didn’t know which one—and he willed her to know that he hadn’t mentioned he _didn’t_ feel that way about her, and that rather he felt it more than anything…

But if Max ever did put two-and-two together about the situation, Logan never knew for sure.

Because just then, thunder rumbled and lightning flashed as a slight rain set in.

Max, drawn into it like she so often was—like _they_ so often were—walked over to the picture window and put a hand to it, as if she could catch the flashing light in her hands.

And if anyone could, it would be Max.

Logan rolled over to the window himself, enjoying how for once the fire in the sky was a magenta color as opposed to the white that certain corrupt politicians tried to pretend that they were.

As the needle-shaped water continued to dance with its partner the lightning, Logan and Max looked up at each other and smirked—just as their arms unintentionally brushed up against each other and stayed there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in this one, Logan totally does see her that way… But sort of dodges answering the question (because of his insecurities), and lets Max try and figure the answer for herself (so for that reason… believe it or not, this is one of the two “didn’t” ones. Though it’s more he just didn’t admit it outright), which reminds me a bit of how they probably would have been in canon. So that’s why this is one of the “canon” pieces from this.
> 
> Anyway, hope you all enjoyed!


	2. The Time Before Easter

**Logan's PoV**  
  
At the moment?  
  
Logan and Max were in his room, getting ready for the upcoming Easter extravaganza with dear old uncle Jonas.  
  
Well… to say that Max was there from the get-go, and trying to get ready, would have been a lie.  
  
 _Logan_ was continuing to get ready—as he tried desperately to get a tie on that just _refused_ to cooperate—and Max came stumbling into the room exactly then: As she herself attempted to zip up her knee-length boot on one foot, while simply wearing a slipper on the other one.  
  
Why Max was even bothering with the zipper—when she wasn’t even sure she’d be wearing that shoe—was beyond Logan.  
  
He also couldn’t quite comprehend just how the usual graceful as a swan X-5 could be looking so clumsy at the moment.  
  
But as Logan finally got the tie on—and a good thing, too, because Max had looked at him with a raised eyebrow, as if indicating that she was about to come over and fix it for him if he didn’t master the thing himself—he realized two things:  
  
One, that Max—believe it or not—was actually nervous… Nervous in trying to impress his family, in a way that Logan himself felt.  
  
And two… that if he didn’t want Max to be the butt of any of his uncle’s jokes, she had better be sporting their traditional eggshell necklace when she got to the event.  
  
It was the most annoying, rich and conservative white guy routines that Logan had ever heard of, considering how everyone was in such poverty after the Pulse that they couldn’t even afford _any_ lockets anymore…   
  
But no: leave it to uncle Jonas to pitch the idea that for Easter, the entire family should wear something akin to the bracelets of half-hearts that friends had adorned for years… And that if you _didn’t_ do this, you were a traitor to the family.  
  
But it was really a thought for another time—dealing with his uncle’s demons, that was—because Logan now had a plan: he was quickly going to lay the locket on Max, to save her from embarrassment, and then they were going to blaze and not be even _more_ late to this social gathering:  
  
So with that list of actions in mind, Logan returned to the present and noted belatedly that Max must have chosen to go with the red boots over the silver ballet-looking shoes.  
  
…Because as he had reached up to try and get the eggshell locket out of one of his cabinets—not the easiest thing to do in his wheelchair—he noticed out of the corner of his eye that she was wearing both the boots, and now giving him a certain look.  
  
But Logan didn’t have time to try and decipher whatever that look in particular could be.  
  
No, right now he still had bigger fish to fry.  
  
So when Logan’s hands finally felt gold, he pulled the choker down and tried his best to reach up and put it around Max’s neck before she could ask any questions…  
  
He knew she would notice his draping jewelry onto her, of course: With her transgenic senses, there was just no way she couldn’t.   
  
But Logan couldn’t help but hope, anyway—because while he thought there was a small chance that Max might _not_ bulk at his family’s stupidity if she heard the story from him, and might actually wear the trinket, he knew it more likely that Max would just tell his uncle where to shove it.  
  
And since there would be _less_ drinking at this affair, Logan really didn’t want Max to be ostracized at this event that the Cales _would_ remember.   
  
So it really would be best if he could just get her to wear the damned thing without noting it…  
  
Logan only had one of them; and as much as one might think he would want to try and impress his family himself, he didn’t care:  
  
He’d screw himself over by not holding onto the locket himself, and rather letting Max have it, but hey: Eyes Only was all about protecting the downtrodden.  
  
It was a perfect plan, as far as he was concerned, and he needed to work just a bit more in order to execute it…  
  
But what Logan _hadn’t_ been counting on, was to fall out of his chair via his movement and to topple onto his bed with Max right underneath him.  
  
And almost instinctively—perhaps thinking her limbs have been crushed otherwise—Max had raised her legs up so that they were on either side of Logan’s waist.  
  
And then there was that look in Max’s eyes again…  
  
He was just about to ask her what it was, but then he felt a hand get tangled in his hair and found his head being forced down for a kiss.  
  
A kiss, that—as bad as this might sound to anyone he might tell about it later, if the meaning were misconstrued—Logan would not be able to remember the exact details of later:  
  
He would mainly just recall how _right_ it had felt, to have Max’s lips move against his own again and to be so tangled up with her.  
  
It was the equivalent of walking hand-in-hand with a loved one down a sunny boulevard, Pre-Pulse; and Logan couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his lips at the end of said kiss, that he was sure Max felt.  
  
…But disrupting the mood, was Max suddenly berating Logan, and slapping him upside the head once, as she demanded answers.  
  
Oh.  
  
She thought he had pushed her onto the bed on purpose, thinking she was easy?   
  
Logan almost laughed outright for the source of Max’s anger; and only fear for his life, and love for the girl staring at him, kept him from doing so.  
  
Because even the _idea_ that anyone would ever dare think of Max that way was just hilarious.  
  
It was after he had sobered up some that Logan finally explained the situation—somewhat dreading it still, because he was damn sure she wouldn’t wear the necklace…. But that was much better than her thinking he was trying to take advantage of her—using so many hand gestures, that he was suddenly very glad that his Eyes Only hacks only featured his irises. He must have looked ridiculous like this.  
  
And after Logan was done with his tirade, breathing heavily for his efforts, he thought for sure that Max would lay into him about why should he even _care_ about his awful family’s opinion on things…  
  
But what Logan got instead? Max French kissing him.  
  
And yes, it actually was that this time, as opposed to the somewhat chaste kiss they had just experienced with each other.  
  
In fact, before Logan could even blink, Max was sitting on top of him and moving to take her over shirt off.  
  
He gasped.  
  
And as much as he tried to keep his body from reacting to her—because there was a part of Logan that was fairly certain this was still a trap, even _if_ Max seemed to somehow be looking at him with love now—he was unable to.  
  
Logan’s one hand found its way to his love’s too perfect waist, while the other hand tangled in her hair—somewhat similarly to what Max had done to his own locks just a moment ago.  
  
But back to the love thing: Logan Cale had loved Max Guevara for a long time, hadn’t he? And it was pointless to try and deny it to himself.  
  
And it was when she innocently leaned over him to give an Eskimo kiss, that Logan knew this more than ever.  
  
And then, thinking that Max was doing too much work by herself if this _was_ something real between the two of them right now—and Logan still partly doubted it was, because how could this super hero ever love him when he was the worst of damsels?—he leaned up and began placing open-mouthed kisses upon her neck, to which Max tipped her head back and moaned:   
  
Her arching like that was a sight to behold, given as how he could see the top of her chest rising out of her tank top.  
  
His hands were even almost there. But before they could meet their intended destination, Logan pulled away from Max and searched her eyes for an answer.  
  
They were the most beautiful and telling eyes he had ever seen.  
  
“Max, if this is real—and we’re actually going in this direction… why now? There were a few other times where nothing amounted from us being like this… The time we kissed in the car, the instance down by the water…”  
  
And the look Max wore then—as she used one index finger to lift Logan’s face closer to hers once more—was exactly the one he’d seen on her face numerous times when she thought of her siblings.  
  
Something that surprised and halted Logan’s reactions—and his heart some—but didn’t stop them completely.  
  
But then Max spoke: explaining absolutely everything, and making the most sense in the world.  
  
“Because you just considered me a part of your family, and tried to save me all cutely.”  
  
And this time it was Logan who leaned into capture the nirvana that was his lips being joined with Max’s.  
  
Max’s legs wound even tighter around Logan; and though he shouldn’t have been able to feel the pressure there at all, he somehow thought he’d been able to.  
  
He felt _everything_ :  
  
Absolutely everything under the sun.  
  
Some things, even, that Logan hadn’t even been sure existed, like love.  
  
And he was pretty sure by the way that Max kept her hand intertwined with his, even after they were both spent, that she felt it, too.  
  
And the party was completely forgotten about.


	3. The Time Before the Loss of Tinga

**Logan's PoV**

Max went to get a drink from the fridge…

And it wasn’t lost on Logan, as he watched her from his living room, that her being there now wasn’t completely _unlike_ the Chicken Tartare fiasco from before… And Max was probably in there getting a drink, because she thought she’d really need it if she was going to give Tinga over to Lydecker.

But Logan knew her better than that.

The truth was, Max already loved Case: Logan could see it in every reaction that Max had to him (and so he got the sense that she was actually mourning _his_ potential fate here)… but there was also a part of her that looked like it kept wanting to go to Tinga and _beg_ her not to turn herself in for Case’s sake.

But Zack, Logan would later realize, must not have seen any of this.

Somewhere down the line, Logan had come to know Max even better than her brother did; and that thought thrilled and terrified him all at the same time.

And it was when Logan was taking a drink himself, that Zack sat down beside him to give a lecture.

Logan sighed, already knowing where it was going:

It was always the same with Zack, wasn’t it?

And it was partly for that reason that Logan tried to not let his attitude or irritation show, when Zack started in on him about what he’d known he would.

“I just told Max that Tinga made herself vulnerable, and that she’s paying the price. She won’t listen to me, though. So if you know what’s good for you, you’ll avoid Max and push her away.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose—a compromise, because he _really_ wanted to do now was to chug down a scotch: something Logan thought the younger man would see very much as disrespectful if he tried to do it—Logan fought tooth and nail against the urge to tell Zack that Max did what she _wanted_ …

And he even moreso held back admitting that doing what Zack had asked of him would take both of them admitting there was anything between them in the first place—and there was maybe there always had been—but neither Logan or Max were ready for that just yet.

Though Logan supposed he could maybe force himself to finally own up to it, if it would actually keep Max safe.

…Except he kind of doubted it would.

It was arrogant to think this way, Logan knew—because he definitely had had his own fair share of problems in the beginning… some that Max herself had helped to correct in him—but the selfish person that Max had been when he had first seen her… could that really be seen as “safe”?

After all, there was more than one way to be unsafe. So if Logan let her go… would that just lead Max into different darkness?

More than anything in the world, Logan wanted to tell Zack that Max was part of his family, too—even if it was different than how the Manticore siblings all saw each other—and he’d _die_ before he let anything happen to her…

But he felt that if he did say this, Zack would see it as him meaning he wanted to start a family with her…

And even though it was _especially_ early to be stepping up to the plate there—Logan had never even decided if he’d wanted children with Val or not—he couldn’t deny the possibility of him maybe thinking that way… someday.

And that was _exactly_ what Zack was fearing: that soon, his favorite little sister—no, she was way more to Zack than that; Logan had figured that out long ago—would be in a situation exactly like Tinga, Charlie, and Case currently were.

So in the end, Logan could only say part of the truth to Zack. And he already knew it wouldn’t be good enough for him—and would even insult said X-5, as he accused him of something. But what else could a guy do?

“It’s Max’s choice. Not mine. And I don’t make her choices for her.”

And in clearly not getting the answer that he had very much wanted—that would have required Logan to “fall in line”, and he wouldn’t do it—Zack dashed out of the room and punched the wall as he did so. It made plaster piece after plaster piece fall to the ground.

After it had happened, Logan had half-expected Max to finally come their way from the kitchen and inform Zack that he had had _no_ right to do that… but she didn’t.

She _did_ stalk over to Logan, however:

Slowly, quietly, and stealthily, being very much the cat that Logan so often compared her to.

“I heard you guys’ conversation,” Max admitted without much preamble, the moment Logan felt her leaning over his shoulder.

And though she whispered—mayhap trying to keep this conversation away from Zack? Something Logan appreciated, if it was the case—he heard every word, as he always did with Max.

“Sorry, Logan. _Whatever_ the dealio between us is… you’re right. It’s my choice. And you don’t deserve gettin' heat turned up on ya, for feeding your favorite cat burglar… who just happens to be putting _your_ life in danger...”

 _That_ caused Logan to wheel around and look at Max, even though he really hadn’t wanted to—…he hadn’t wanted to see her face. What expression, exactly, had she been wearing when she’d just mentioned their relationship? Logan had thought he was better off not knowing—because even though there had been an undercurrent of teasing in her voice… and she was smiling at him now, there was also a bit of self-loathing present that Logan couldn’t ignore.

And he wondered for the millionth time, how he could have ever cared about those pictures he’d been sent or bought into Lydecker’s story about her at all.

Unlike her brother Ben, it was clear that other people’s well-being was always the first thing on Max’s mind.

“It’s _fine_ , Max. Zack’s just lookin’ out for his sister. I understand it. And don’t _you_ worry about _me_. I’m a good shot, remember?

“‘Sides, I seriously doubt that Manticore is gonna come after me because of one broadcast. Eyes Only has too much he deals with to seem like someone too heavily invested in their handiwork. I’ll live.”

At this, Max’s eyes blazed furiously; and for a second, Logan thought he was going to be met with the Max who had quit on him right before he’d been kidnapped for his “connection to Eyes Only”… or the one who had yelled at him for sacrificing himself for her at the genetics convention.

And he’d been right.

Nearly instantaneously, Max had moved so that she was leaning over Logan.

And the only flustered thought that, oddly, came to Logan’s mind then… was how it somehow reminded him of when Rapunzel was making her deal with Flynn Rider in Tangled.

The transgenic placed her hand on the back of the wheelchair, and Logan wondered if she was going to push him back into the wall this way, or maybe even try to beat him up like she had threatened once.

But what he got instead, was the beauty running her hand through a few strands of his hair and her crumpling at his feet.

“You’re a fool, Logan!” Max chastised.

And now she was closer to being the Max he truly knew, as she clutched at his shirt tightly—with, perhaps, more emotion than he’d ever seen from her before—and acted every bit the leader. “Even if you _hadn’t_ done things in the past, like warning Tinga, Syl, Krit, Jondy, and Zane they were compromised… there was still a chance Manticore woulda linked the two of us together. They have hackers too, y’know? And there’s enough to go off of ta make a case… When you hacked into Lydecker’s walkie-talkies to save my ass that time… And, well… everything else.”

…It was raining outside now—the back of Logan’s mind registered, while the forefront of it was focused on Max, Max, Max—it _had_ to be… And he _must_ have been mistaking what he was now seeing there on the windowpane as something else?

Because there was no _way_ Logan could rationalize that Max would be crying for his safety.

So the water that he saw dripping onto his pant legs now, _must_ have been from a broken ceiling and not from Max’s chocolate colored orbs.

Furthermore, the almost injured sounds that he heard coming from her—as she buried her face into his chest—had to be debris crashing into a tree outside.

And if _anything_ , Max was crying for Tinga’s horrible fate… not for him. Never for him.

Because maybe once upon a time, Max Guevara could have felt something for him—when Logan had still been whole, and they weren’t whatever broken (and beautiful) thing they were together now:

…In the world where he hadn’t played her in front of that mirror when they had first met, they might have been a wonderful pair.

“Logan…” Max breathed his name like it were a prayer; and her lips were so close to his, that he knew that if there was ever an instance to explore whatever they had between them… This was it.

Logan ran one of his own hands through Max’s hair, happily savoring absolutely everything about this moment… but he couldn’t get over the notion that if he allowed himself to kiss this girl now, he’d be taking advantage of her vulnerable state.

And he didn’t want that.

As it stood, Logan Cale hated evil men with that sort of mentality.

Wasn’t that exactly why he’d chosen the occupation he had?

And maybe, just maybe, as stupid as it was to think—because he _did_ want Max with every fiber of his being; and he’d been full of shit when he’d told Bling he didn’t want to risk ruining a great friendship by pursuing anything with her—maybe he wasn’t exactly ready for this yet… after Val and Daphne, that was.

There were much more important things going on now, anyway.

So using a thumb to brush away one of Max’s tears—as he leaned his forehead against hers—Logan decided that a promise would be the best way to do away with some of Max’s fears.

Being someone who had grownup with Japanese anime before the Pulse, and had seen just how revered childhood oaths were in those particular cartoons, Logan thought he’d try his hand at one now…

Even if the two of them were far from children, and had never known each other such—something that Logan sometimes regretted. What would it have been like to know Max at Manticore, and to better understand all that she was going through?—it was really the intent that mattered in the end.

“Max, look at me,” Logan gently whispered, gazing at her with the utmost intensity.

And that was just them, wasn’t it?

How many times had they simply gazed at each other while it poured in the background?

“I- I guess I can’t promise you Manticore’ll never come after me… We haven’t always been careful: Despite how you _have_ tried to hide from hover-drones when we’re out… But I swear if I ever sense them on my tail—and I’ll know; you may have not noticed, Max, but I’m a pretty smart cookie—I’ll use the utmost caution. I won’t let them find me… And that’s really the most I can guarantee.”

 _Because there’s nothing I won’t do for you_ : Logan had wanted to end his speech with that, because it was probably the greatest truth of his life.

So much so, that it sometimes meant forgetting the downtrodden for a night… or turning a blind eye to the things he once would have been in an uproar about.

…But there was still no reason in upsetting Max, by making her think he might go all suicidal for her if it came down to it.

And what Logan _had_ done must have had the intended effect, because Max laughed once and she stood up. She then intertwined her and Logan’s pinkies, seeming to ask him if that was what he’d meant, and somewhat scoffed at the ordeal.

“Well said, Logan Cale. And know that this bitch is also living under the radar, and will stay safe that way… But also know that if anyone ever misses with her meal ticket, she’ll be right on their ass and damn the consequences.”

Then Max did something so out of character, he almost had to wonder if she’d been replaced by an alien-look-a-like… not that he was exactly complaining about her actions.

As she looked at Tinga, Charlie, and Case in the other room—having their own closing act—Max raised her and Logan’s joined hands up to her mouth and kissed them.

She then shrunk down once more, so that her head was resting on Logan’s shoulder.

And he put an arm around Max’s shoulders, as if were the most natural thing in the world.

And it was.

They stayed together through the night like that—holding hands, and even telling each other some stories they’d heard with actual happy endings to them—and Logan could have been wrong…

But he thought that Max was somehow using what they were now doing as inspiration:  
  
As was maybe relishing in the idea that if Tinga and Charlie had this kind of bond that they did, the two of them would go unscathed through whatever was coming their way.


	4. The Time Before Zack Went Crazy

**Logan's PoV**

“Zack’s forgetting we’re family,” Logan whispered (right after Zack had just accused him of treason and had stormed out). But the moments the words had left his mouth, he found himself wishing he could go back in time and hit himself with a sledgehammer for _ever_ daring to voice them.

Even with how sympathetic Logan felt towards Zack now—and he did—why would _he_ ever say that they were family at all? Even his cleverer Eyes Only persona couldn’t figure it out.

But whatever.

It wasn’t important now… other things were.

“Logan… though I got no issues seein’ you as part of the fam, and you know that… ya really think Zack ever saw you that way? I’m just askin’. You do you.”

Logan sighed—and just barely resisted the urge to go and pour himself a glass of wine, because the fact of the matter was that Max was right.

He really didn’t know what he’d been thinking…

And even though he’d been trying to make Max feel better—and to offer some hope to the situation—the cyber-journalist now found himself having to explain that he was maybe slightly wonky in the head: something he didn’t want to do where Max was concerned in the slightest.

Why had he even said what he did? Logan demanded of himself.

Maybe he had tried to be “family” to Zack for Max’s sake in the past, but the two of them never saw eye to eye on anything.

So what _had_ that been about?

Even saying that he was close to the rest of Max’s family was a stretch.

He was _something_ to them, he supposed. Their protector, in some ways, if nothing else.

But was that still true, when he was no longer sure of how he was connected to their sister?  
  
Since Max had been pushing him away, their relationship had become as gray as the sofas they now sat on were.

In a heartbeat, Logan would have said that he and _Max_ were family—they always would be, as far as he was concerned. No matter what…

Even if this all soured, and Max broke his heart worse than anyone else could… Logan would always cherish her and be by her side. There was just no other way for him anymore.

But Logan could still tell that _Max_ was pulling away _him_ now… for fear of the virus, and maybe even for other reasons like Rafer.

“Are you tryin’ to throw some of that ‘never abandon your unit’ stuff at me, Logan? ‘Cause you’re right. And you are, _technically,_ our unit… more than that, actually. But Zack… with what’s going on with him right now, I don’t know if he-”

“Would ever think of me that way?” Logan finished for Max, smirking as he turned to face her.

But in some ways, it was just an act. In some ways, it was just a remnant of their happier days.

God… it hurt so much to be this near to her, without being able to put a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

But Logan had learned long ago how to love Max while it felt like he was dying on the inside (there were too many times too count. And more often than not, a lot of these occasions had been his own fault—he realized now). And it was for that reason that his pain didn’t deter him now.

And she saved him from any falsities here, like she had much else.

“It’s true that Zack hates you, and always has,” Max agreed so matter-of-factly, that Logan almost had to laugh. Almost. “But I don’ think it had to be that way… If things had been…different, I think- he coulda been your friend… Maybe.

“God, Logan, I’m not exactly good at the sentimentality crap? But… Have you ever come across someone in your life, and thought you coulda been sumthin’ with them? Family, friends, lovers…? And then it amounts to nothing—and maybe you never really knew them at all—but you still find yourself thinkin’ about them, and all that coulda been? Even if it was just in your head?

“Well, I think of you and Zack in relation to that. And maybe it coulda been the same for you guys … I kinda don’t doubt it.

“So, shit. Don’t take the way Zack is _now_ as another reason to lock yourself up in self-imposed exile here at Fogle Towers, is what I’m saying.”

Logan let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, as the weight of Max’s speech washed over him.

That very well might have been the lengthiest thing she had ever said to him. And Logan almost had to wonder why it was for the reason of him and Zack—as opposed to the feelings that she had for him, and vice versa—that she chose to get chatty.

But he couldn’t deny the hidden sentiment in all of this… that, perhaps, existed moreso in the parts that had been _unspoken_ by Max than the rest.

Right now, Max looked much like she had when she’d surprised him by crying at Bennett and Maryanne’s wedding…. She was beautiful.

And it took all the willpower that Logan had within himself, to not kiss her breathless.

And it was only the knowledge that if he did so it would be the last thing he ever did, that kept him from acting.

But even then, Logan wondered if it might have been worth the attempt. Surely people had died for a lot less important things; and he, with all his many connections, knew that better than anyone.

…There was so much to unpack with what had just transpired between them—Max’s explanation; and then the two of them pretty much looking into each other’s souls, which had led to Logan wanting to jump Max’s bones—that Logan didn’t even really know where to begin.

But the physical affection thoughts were too dangerous to have. And he knew that if Max knew of them, she would surely find a way to kick his ass for them: Always worried about the virus, was that one.

And that alone was enough to sober him… to the idea of sexual things, perhaps, but not to the idea of love.

Some of the stuff that Max had just said about him and Zack, sort of oddly rang true to Logan in some way….

And while Logan hadn’t ever been one to want to much interact with Zack—or even think of him—he was going to do it for Max, anyway.

He took a deep breath.

Outside right now, it was astonishingly sunny for a Seattle day.  
  
Logan had his windows wide open, with the curtains blowing freely in the wind. And the sunlight that spilled in warmed Logan as much as some of the water that Max had boiled for his meals had done in the past.

And maybe it was for that reason that he decided to be optimistic once again—and to forgive and forget how Zack had pretty much just betrayed him with his words, and wherever this virus stuff was or wasn’t going—and to take a bit of a risk when it came to Max:

Reaching over so that his hand rested on the denim arm of her jacket, Logan looked deep within his heart and told Max one of his most embarrassing stories.

“It’s funny that you say all that… When Bennett and I were kids, there were celebrities y’know? They were a much bigger deal back then than they are now, of course. People of Seattle are more likely to know Eyes Only than they are the president now, let alone any past movie stars. …But even though we didn’t really know these stars—no one did—they had a presence… so Bennett and I felt like that if we ever met them, we’d all be friends. Sometimes we even pretended that they were… and even more humiliating things.

“So I get where you’re coming from with this, Max… And I like the idea of it. And as you said, maybe… maybe it’s even true about me and Zack.”

Something lit up in Max’s eyes then, as she—thankfully—chose to ignore how close he was to touching her.

And as she smiled wickedly—but with so much mirth that Logan couldn’t find it within himself to fault her for it—he could guess what it was going to be that she said next:

“You’ve dreamed about scenarios between you and Zack, Logan? That kinky idea is even enough to turn on a girl who’s usually down about a virus...”

Logan’s breath hitched in his throat. And as he gazed into Max’s orbs, he was surprised to find that desire _was_ pooling behind there…

It took his breath away.

And while Logan was sure he understood just where he and Max stood with each other—her confession after her last heat was a big enough hint to that, even if there were so many obstacles now—this terrain was new for them.

Before, denial hadn’t just been a river in Egypt for them. But they were past that childish stage now, so they should have been uncovering new terrain such as this… but the virus… the virus made it a near impossibility.

There was a part of Logan that now wanted to ask Max now, if they could have that finally have that conversation about how or if they were going to continue their relationship with this nightmare in the way… but the words wouldn’t come.

Instead, Logan just found himself playfully jabbing Max’s clothed shoulder with his index finger—as Max swayed in time to his touch—and saying what they had both already decided on:

“Go find your brother, Max. He needs you. This will- this will wait ‘til later..”

And there Max was, hitting him with that intense look again.

But call Logan crazy, or thinking wishfully… But whereas before, Max had been looking at him with unmistakable lust in her eyes… he saw nothing but love now. And it was something he was sure he was sending back her way, too.

“Throwing my own words from before back at me, I see. Good move,” Max grinned at him., before getting to her feet to fulfill the “order” she’d just been given.

But she paused once, and ruffled Logan’s hair with her gloved hand. And then she was gone.

And what Logan hadn’t told Max about his story?

That the person he’d always imagined as his dream girl hadn’t been an actress. But rather, it was a companion he’d made up who’d been a lot like Max…

And unbeknownst to Logan… when Max paused on the other side of the door, and put a hand over the one that was currently tingling, she thought about how she’d once dreamed that Darren could be what Logan was to her now.

She and Logan really were family in every sense of the word… But not the sibling kind, or anything even remotely close to that.

They were very much like husband and wife, weren’t they?

And maybe they’d always been leaning that way.

And so it was, that Max wasn’t even the least bit surprised when she would later become Linda Eastman call her “husband” to thank him for saving her life through Morse code.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in this one! I sort of got sucked into doing a ton of one-shots for another fandom of mine (as a certain week was going on there), but I should be back now:)


End file.
